


Look at the stars (look how they shine for you)

by parallelcurtains



Series: Social Media AUs [4]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Affairs, Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, Even is a bit of an ass?!, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Lies and secrets, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Sexual Tension, or maybe he's just a messs..., secrets get exposed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:29:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 75
Words: 3,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27083428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parallelcurtains/pseuds/parallelcurtains
Summary: Even is Norway's most sought-after model; Isak one of the most promising, aspiring models. They meet at a shooting and start an affair that only each of their respective best friends knows about. No one can know - not Even's girlfriend, not the media.
Relationships: Emma W. Larzen/Isak Valtersen, Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, Even Bech Næsheim/Sonja (SKAM)
Series: Social Media AUs [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926439
Comments: 74
Kudos: 181





	1. Introductions 1: Even

**Author's Note:**

> And here's the 4th one. It was a fave on Twitter, I think - so, I hope you'll enjoy it as well. <3
> 
> If you haven't read Social Media AUs before, it might take some time to get used to it. But basically, the story is made up of chats, tweets, and Instagram posts. The first part of my AUs is always a character introduction done by showing their Twitter (and sometimes Instagram profiles). I also like to use music in a way and I recommend listening to the songs I use (ksksks, no I do not have a great taste in music but they fit the story) and sometimes other elements. And there are written parts, too. I didn't use as many in my first AUs but there are one or two. You'll get the hang of it! :-) <3
> 
> Other things to mention:  
> \- English is not my first language + nothing of this is proof-read, mostly not even by myself because I'm lazy af.  
> \- the little time stamps on the posts can be ignored (unless I state otherwise) because they're annoying to adjust and - well, I'm lazy.

**Even's official accounts:**

**Even's private accounts:**


	2. Introductions 2: Isak

**Isak's official accounts:**

**Isak's private accounts:**


	3. Introductions 3

**Eskild is Even's manager, they get along great:**

****

**William is Isak's manager - their relationship is... complicated:**

****

**Meet Sonja Bergland, a more or less famous actress and Even's girlfriend:**

**Meet Emma Larzen, she studies journalism & works part-time for Oslo Fashion Magazine:**

**Eva is a photographer & Isak's best friend:**

**Mikael is a movie director & Even's best friend:**

** And lastly, we have the Models Gossip Account, from where you will get the latest news and gossip on Norway's models: **


	4. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~ Prologue, March 2019 ~


	5. Prologue Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~ Prologue, March 2019 ~


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Isak's birthday! Here's wha he's doing - official and privately. ;-)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eva asking the important questions!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even spends the day with his favorite girl.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparing for another job together...


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They need to calm down. 🔥🔥🔥


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> William isn't very happy about the newest developments. But he has a plan to change that.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tries to get out of dinner... but he has no luck.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dinner...


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak gets a warning...


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But with Even acting like this, who can say no?


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A story of hickeys begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isak's Insta account is private, therefore Sonja cannot see Even's comment on the picture - at least that's how Instagram privacy works in this story. ;-)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The responsible person for the hickeys is found. ;-)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is not happy - Even apparently thinks this whole situation is hilarious, which leads to Isak lashing out.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak's and Emma's date.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seems like there is no way out of this for Isak.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Even being an ass, really.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even missing someone... - but is it really Sonja?

To see you when I wake up  
Is a gift I didn't think could be real  
To know that you feel the same as I do  
Is a three-fold Utopian dream

You do something to me  
That I can't explain  
So, would I be out of line  
If I said, "I miss you?"

I see your picture I smell your skin  
On the empty pillow next to mine  
You have only been gone ten days  
But already I'm wasting away

I know I'll see you again  
Whether far or soon  
But I need you to know  
That I care and I miss you  
I miss you


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even goes out for a drink - or 10...


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He ends up drunk-texting Isak but deleting the most important messages because he's scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that the 4th picture with the long-ass messages by Even shows the messages that Even deleted before Isak could read them. So, Isak did not see them and thus knows nothing about Even's reasons. Then, in the 5th picture, you can see the convo "continuing" after Even deleted the messages. It was the best possible way to show that but it is still a bit confusing, so I hope this explication helped. ;-) <3


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after...


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma tries to do something nice for Isak but it backfires.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The double date isn't going exactly great...


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is s t r e s s e d.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then he left.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even showing for the first time how much he cares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: graphic description of panic attack.

Even's eyes kept flitting to the spot where Isak had left the restaurant and after about two minutes, he couldn't stand it anymore. He cleared his throat and put down his chopsticks. "I'm gonna go check on him", he mumbled before getting up. He ignored the look Sonja shot him, ignored her "Ev, maybe Emma should go..." and hurried out of the restaurant to look for Isak before either of them could stop him.

Okay, where would this stupid boy run to...? Even scanned his surroundings and saw a small playground across the street that looked like his best option since nobody would go there at night, right? He let a car pass before he crossed the street and opened the gate to enter the playground.

Even didn't have to go far, before finding Isak propped up against one of the poles of the swings - breathing heavily, his arms around his knees, and rocking himself. Shit, it made Even's heart clench tight and his breath hitch. Was Isak about to hyperventilate?

"Isak..." Even took four big steps to get to him and kneeled down in front of the blonde boy. "Hey... Is... hey..." But Isak didn't really react, he just kept rocking himself, his breath heightened to a maximum already, and his eyes wide and glistening with tears. "Fuck..."

Carefully, Even put his hands on Isak's cheeks, forcing him to look at Even. Isak stared at him, trying to choke out some words, but they were unintelligible. "It's fine, Isak... just focus on your breathing, okay? Deep, slow breaths... I'm gonna do it with you, okay? In... and out... In... out..."

However, Even's attempts to regulate Isak's breathing didn't work and Even felt himself starting to panic a little, as well, since he had no clue what else he could do. He knew that breathing into some sort of bag would normally work... but where the hell was he supposed to find a bag now??!

"Is... come on... slow, deep breaths. I know you can do it... look at me and breathe. Slow and deep. Okay, Isak? Slow and deep."

Nothing worked, though... Isak just wasn't able to calm down and Even was afraid that he might faint at any moment now. "Okay, Isak..." Even said slowly, while gripping his cheeks more firmly to get Isak's attention. He held Isak's head up a little and looked at him reassuringly, trying to put a smile on his own lips.

"It's okay, it's okay... Just focus on me... look at me. Look into my eyes."

Even waited a second and it seemed like he finally got through to Isak, because he could see the green eyes starting to gain back some of their focus. "Very good, Is... Now, keep looking at me and breathe with me, okay?" Isak gave him the smallest of nods and then finally he managed to slowly get back some control over his breathing.

Even held him there until Isak was breathing normally again and the trembling stopped. Then Isak just fell forwards into Even, and Even took him into his arms, hugging the smaller boy tightly to his chest. "It's okay, love, it's okay... everything is going to be fine, it's going to be just fine."

Once Isak had regained full control over his body again, he sat himself up against the pole and started to rub his face to get rid of the tear stains. "Nei," Even whispered while pulling the small hands away from Isak's face. "Let me do that, love..." He smiled at Isak, before carefully whipping the tears away with his thumbs. "There. That's better."

Isak looked up at him dumbfounded and tried to say something again, but a cough was all he managed. Even shook his head and brushed his thumb over Isak's chapped lips.

"You don't need to say anything... Everything's okay." Even smiled and started to lean in to place a soft kiss on Isak's forehead. But he got so lost in the green eyes staring up at him that he forgot - he forgot about Sonja, he forgot about Isak being angry at him, he forgot that Isak wasn't his boyfriend, he forgot that he shouldn't be doing this, he forgot that he didn't deserve this. He forgot everything and anything he'd ever known and pressed his lips against Isak's.

Isak gasped, but then his arms wrapped around Even's neck and he kissed him back with full force. It was their first kiss that wasn't going to lead to sex and Even enjoyed every last millisecond of it.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just keep breathing.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even promises to tell Sonja the truth and asking for time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sonja does not follow Even's private Twitter btw.)


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak falling asleep to some Coldplay.

Look at the stars  
Look how they shine for you  
And everything you do  
They were all yellow  
  
I came along  
I wrote a song for you  
And all the things you do  
And it was called Yellow  
  
So, then, I took my turn  
What a thing to have done  
And it was all yellow  
  
Your skin  
Oh yeah, your skin and bones  
Turn in to something beautiful  
Do you know  
You know I love you so  
You know I love you so  
  


I swam across  
I jumped across for you  
What a thing to do  
Cause you were all yellow  
  
I drew a line  
I drew a line for you  
What a thing to do  
And it was all yellow  
  
And your skin  
Oh yeah, your skin and bones  
Turn in to something beautiful  
Do you know  
For you, I'd bleed myself dry  
For you, I'd bleed myself dry  
  
It's true  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine for  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine  
  


Look at the stars  
Look how they shine for you  
And all the things that you do


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak finally opens William's messages...


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even chooses to ignore Sonja and instead has a talk with his best friend.

After greeting Mikael with a tight hug, Even sat down on the chair across from his friend. Mikael presented him with a cup of coffee that Even moved back and forth between his hands while contemplating how to start - what was probably the most important conversation of their entire friendship -right.

"Just out with it," Mikael suggests after minutes of silence. "You know, I don't care... whatever it is. You could've killed someone; you'd still be my best friend."

"It's not that easy, Mik."

"I know it's not... otherwise you'd have told me years ago. But you can tell me anything, Even. Like I said... if you'd tell me, you murdered someone, I'd hide the body for you."

"I'd do the same for you, Mik. But uhm... I just don't know how or where to start. I... it's all just so much. And I'm scared."

"Don't be, Ev. I'm right here and that's where I'll always be."

Even took a deep breath to calm himself down. He tried to think of Isak. Isak who is so brave, who had opened up to him so easily. If Isak could talk about his anxiety like it was nothing to be ashamed of with Even who was barely more than a stranger for him, surely Even could tell his best friend about his bipolar?!

"I'm bipolar and in love with Isak," he suddenly blurted it out in what sounded like it was one word.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikael, the best bestie anyone could wish for.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even found the courage to open up to Eskild, as well.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, Isak is keep things from his best friend.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looks like they had a fun photoshoot...


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eva is a little pissed however.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evak going star-gazing again...


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonja taking her shit out on Isak instead of talking to her boyfriend.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak finally tells Even what's been happening with Sonja.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both, Isak and Even, making some life-changing decisions and asking their own worst enemies to meet them.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even did it!


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonja is superpissed but Even and Isak are so done with her shit.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rumor of their breakup makes it to Twitter.


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even confirms the breakup.


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now, the boys finally have some room to breathe and explore their relationship in peace.


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaaaaaand then, the (first) bomb drops.


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is too stressed to reply to anyone.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gossip account drops another bomb.


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eskild to the rescue.


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These kinds of besties. <3


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What are Isak and Eskild up to? 👀


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak's lawyer is a kick-ass queen.


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything seems to be getting back on track.


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But what are these two planing?


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even finally finds the time to update his best friend.


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is now an official part of Eskild's team.


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak makes an official statement and gives an apology.


	62. Chapter 62

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe he revealed more than he planned to?


	63. Chapter 63

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings they never had before.


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even will tell Isak tomorrow.


	65. Chapter 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But first, he gives his official apology, too.


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're ready for their dinner with Eskild - and drooling all over each other.


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But before dinner happens, we find out what Sonja and William have planned...


	68. Chapter 68

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak finds out what happened through Eskild.


	69. Chapter 69

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak loses his shit on Twitter because he is p i s s e d.


	70. Chapter 70

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But where is Even? :-(


	71. Chapter 71

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He finds him. <3

Isak had no idea if Even would be there, but his gut feeling told him that that was the only place Even could've disappeared to. So, Isak decided to give it a shot and all but ran to the playground where their relationship has changed so much just some weeks ago.

And there he was; leaning against the pole of the swings where Isak had a panic attack a while ago. To be honest, it felt like months, but it has barely been five weeks ago. After letting out a small sound of relief, Isak opened the gate to the playground with a creak. A creak that made Even look up and stare at Isak in wonder, as if he couldn't believe the younger man was here. As if he didn't understand WHY he would be here.

Isak just responded by looking right back at him, staying put at the gate that was now closed behind him. He didn't know for how long they just kept looking at each other before he started to take cautious steps towards the crouched down figure; never losing eye contact.

Once Isak was close enough, he sat down next to Even and put an arm around his shoulder to pull him into his side, as close as possible. He then rested his chin on Even's head, feeling the usually perfectly styled her softly tickling his skin. "I'm here... I'm right here, okay? You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, baby. Just breathe."

But instead of 'just breathing', Even latched on to Isak and started to cry; his sobs only interrupted by small hiccupping noises every now and then. And Isak let him cry, he let him spill all his tears until all that was left were dry sobs. And he held him through it, stroking his back tentatively while whispering sweet nothings into his hair.

"I haven't cried like this in years," Even admitted while whipping away snot with the sleeve of this sweater. "I feel like I'm a teenager again... Sorry... I think I got your sweater all wet. Shit... I'm really sorry about this..."

Isak just smiled and let his fingers wander under Even's chin to lift it up so that Even would see his smile. "It's okay, baby. Sometimes you just have to let it all out. My sweater will dry... no worries, really." He then leaned in to kiss Even's tear-stained cheeks. "Did it help, though? Do you feel better?"

"I don't know," Even mumbled back, leaning into Isak's soft touches. "How did you know I was here?"

Isak shrugged, his lips still caressing different parts of Even's face; so that Even could feel the vibrations when he spoke: "I didn't. Not really... it was just a feeling."

Even seemed to be pondering on that for a moment, before he pulled back from Isak to look at him in confusion. "But... why are you here?"

His look was reciprocated with just as much confusion. "Huh? What? Where else would I be, Even?"

The wonder was back in Even's eyes, mixing with his confusion. "I didn't think you still would want to... I... I wanted to tell you tonight... I..."

Isak nodded and kissed Even into silence. "I know, baby. I know that you wanted to. It's okay."

Before Even could say anything else, Isak pulled him down to the ground. He maneuvered them around until they were lying on their backs, looking up at the sky, their shoulders touching. And then he took Even's hand into his and squeezed it tight.

"There are no stars yet, but we can wait until the sun sets," Isak said quietly. "If you want to, I mean."

Even turned his head to look at Isak, a little smile forming on this lips. "Do you know why I came here?"

Isak moved his head around to also look at Even, before he replied: "Not really, no."

Even's smile grew, and he put his free hand on Isak's cheek to stroke it with his fingertips. "Because this is where I realized. This is where I knew."

"Knew what Even?"

"That you and I were special, that you are different. That I want to be with you always. That I love you more than I loved anyone ever."

Isak's eyes grew bigger with each word and when Even had ended, he let out a deep breath accompanied by a "Woah."


	72. Chapter 72

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two are gonna be good friends, I guess...


	73. Chapter 73

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even tells his story.

About four hours later, they were lying on top of Even's bed. Isak turned around and snuggled against Even's side while looking up at him with soft eyes. "Do you want to tell me?" He whispered. "You don't have to. But you can, if you want to..."

Once again Even was all confusion and disbelief. "What do you mean? You already know now... Everyone knows."

"Baby," Isak sighed, shaking his head slightly. "I know nothing, okay? I just know you have bipolar disorder, but that's all... I don't know how you feel about this, how this influenced your life or your relationship with Sonja. Why she's so pissed that she would make this public... But like I said - you don't have to tell me anything, if you don't want to, Even."

Even hadn't thought he could love this boy any more than he already did, but apparently, he was wrong. Here he was with his heart about to burst with all the love it held for Isak. This beautiful boy that was so caring, so loving, so affectionate, compassionate, generous, brave... The boy that understood Even better than anyone else ever could, even though he only had known him for a couple of months now.

"I'll tell you," Even finally said, as he pulled Isak closer.

Looking into those green eyes, Even found nothing but acceptance and love. It made Even feel calm and warm inside. "I was wrongly diagnosed with depression when I was 14, but when I was 15, I had my first manic episode and tried to break in into a jewelry store. You know, I just had gotten together with Sonja and I wanted to give her those earrings she had been talking about for weeks... Yeah, so that's when they realized, I didn't have depression but rather bipolar disorder. To be honest, I don't even know how that made me feel at that time... It was all very confusing and the only thing I can remember clearly is that my parents were so devastated, worried, and scared. And it was something I didn't want my friends to be, so... I never told them. Only Sonja knew, and she was... amazing. Or at least I thought she was for a very long time. She was really composed and caring, you know... and she stayed with me, she continued loving me. I was grateful, and I loved her; so, we were good for quite some time. However, I went through quite a lot of episodes, before the doctors were able to adjust my medication... So, that kind of sucked and Sonja started to become more and more controlling; and I felt cramped like she was babying me. Which she probably was, but since she was the only one who knew, I didn't… I was just scared to let her go, you know? I felt like she was the only person who knew me and on whom I could rely on. So, I stayed with her. But then, two years ago, I tried to kill myself for the second time during a very severe depressive episode and afterward, Sonja became unbearable. She wouldn't leave me alone for a second, she kept checking on me every minute and I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm not a baby, for God's sake, I just have a mental health issue... Anyway, so like a month or so, after we broke up, I met this guy Veggard. He was fucking hot and this outgoing, carefree personality that I fell in love with immediately. So, we started dating and after a couple of months, I felt like I could tell him about my bipolar and all that... Ja so turns out, he left straight away... Fuck, I was so heartbroken, Isak. And then Sonja was suddenly back in life as if she knew. We got back together, but it never felt like it used to... At least for me. But I believed her when she told me that she was the only one who would ever stay with me, put up with me. Ja... and the rest you know..."

Isak felt numb when Even stopped talking. He didn't exactly know what to say and he most certainly didn't know how to restrain his anger against Sonja. He had already wanted to kill her before this — but now? He would. If she ever so much as breathed in his direction; he would! In a heartbeat! But that wasn't what he should focus on right now.

So, Isak closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath, to put his anger away, before pulling Even closer. "Fuck Sonja, baby," he murmured against Even's ear, kissing it softly in between words. "And also fuck that Veggard guy. They both have no fucking clue, okay? I mean, I'm not saying that I'm a master when it comes to mental illnesses. I handle my mother's pretty bad at the begin and I still struggle with my own a lot on most days... The thing is, though, I know that you don't need to be babied and that this doesn't change a thing about this person I fell in love with. Look, Even. You're amazing, exactly the way you are, okay? There isn't one thing I would change about you, ever. I love you so much and I don't think that anything or anyone could ever change that. So, please, just forget everything Sonja ever told you. Fuck her; she doesn't deserve you!"

Even gulped and stared up into Isak's face that was now right in front of his own.

Isak was smiling at him softly and his eyes were overflowing with warm love and honesty. They were telling Even that Isak meant every word he had just said; that Even should believe him, even if he didn't know how to.

"Sonja said that I don't deserve lo-"

He was cut short by Isak's lips pressing against his own, probably to shut him right up. Isak kissed him ferociously as if to kiss all the bad words that Sonja had left scribbled all over Even away. And maybe, maybe it worked.


	74. Chapter 74

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're finally happy and sappy as fuck.


	75. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple of weeks later. Everyone gets what they deserve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for your support. <33  
> The next one is already coming up today. :)


End file.
